You Never Know (2)

 March 4th, 2004….

    I had a nightmare last night. The new housemaid, Ogechi, was in my dreams. She wasn’t chasing me or anything. Instead, I was Arab-sitting below her, her feet on my shoulders. I prayed about it but I don’t think it’s serious. Demola had gone to work already, Ogechi prepared breakfast for him, she’ll prepare dinner too. I’m too tired for that abeg.

March 30th, 2004……

     I don’t get Demola, he never wants to eat my food, always saying I need rest and Ogechi should prepare his food instead. Rest from what biko? Not like we have any kids and I’m basically home all day.

April 4th,2004….

     I can’t even believe this. I saw Demola in a compromising position with Ogechi, I was so furious. I slapped him and made sure Ogechi ate nothing tonight. Such arrant nonsense really! I even flogged her, I feel bad for it but that should be the right thing. 

April 5th, 2004….

     I need to see my pastor, like ASAP.  I saw Ogechi, again!!! She flogged the living day out of me and warned me never to cross her path. I mean, I could ignore it like the last but how do I explain the marks on my body?

May 5th, 2004….

      I live in fear in my own house, I can’t even find time to write in here. I’m practically a maid and the maid is the wife. Demola doesn’t even know I exist, he doesn’t look at me anymore. He even sent me packing. Packing from our matrimonial room, I now stay at the boys’ quarters. There’s nothing I can do, she threatened to kill me if I tried anything funny or even talked about what was happening. I saw Tolu yesterday, every single piece of me wanted to tell her but I didn’t dare. I couldn’t even tell my best friend the truth, I feel really horrible. 

May 8th, 2004…..

      Tolu came over this evening. Demola had taken Ogechi shopping while I was left to tidy the house and prepare their meals. I couldn’t tell her what happened again, I lied to her, told her whoever she saw was his cousin. What cousin really? Demola doesn’t even know his family. But I can’t keep living like this, where do I run to?

May 11th, 2004…..

    I tried to kill myself today but Ogechi caught me. She promised to kill me herself. She promised to get married to Demola when I die. She promised and promised and the only thing I could do was weep. I cried like a baby, I couldn’t do anything else.

May 13th, 2004…..

    I had another dream, Ogechi was chasing me with a knife. I ran for my dear life and woke up in a pool of my sweat. What did I ever do to deserve this? I’m in my parents’ house right now, I can’t tell them what happened. But instead, I’ll give this secret to Tolu, she needs to know what I’ve been through .
Tolu, if you’re reading this, something has happened. Something terrible, I’m probably dead. I really don’t know how I’m going to die. Demola wants me back home tomorrow so I’m giving this to my mum today, for you. But I promise you, I can’t commit suicide. Ogechi might persuade Demola to harm me like always, I’m weak and have little or no strength left. I love you dearly, Tolu. Never forget that.

I closed this book and I found myself weeping.

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